Hi Friends! Wow has it been a while, but it’s been a much-needed rest. I am finally inching out of the cave that I have been hiding in. I really wanted to re-launch my blog and create a brand that felt a little more “me” especially for the season I am in. However, it took a little longer than expected. I thought I was going to re-launch in May, but it just didn’t happen. This blog post was originally written in April when I was 23 weeks. I thought about deleting it or re-writing it, but when I wrote this I was speaking from my heart and I want you to know where I was “at.” So I have decided to keep it and add a Part 2″ so you can a get real-time pregnancy update.
So sorry this blog post is SO long, but it’s been a while and I am glad you are here!
I have gotten a lot of questions lately, like “how have you been feeling” or ” why have you been so quiet” or “is everything okay.” The truth is everything is GREAT! In fact, everything right now is so good that it almost seems unreal. Baby boy is doing amazing and now that I am at 23 weeks, I can feel him kick and turn which is just the most surreal feeling. In full transparency though, it took me a long time to get to this “amazing feeling/ everything is okay” phase. Let me start at the beginning…
To begin, Hunter and I thought it would take us a long time to get pregnant. Infertility runs in my family and I was told at a relatively young age by a gynecologist that my chances of having endometriosis were high. So MONTHS before we even starting trying, I began to prepare my body and home for a baby. (I am more than happy to write a post about it if you would like – just let me know!) Also during this time, pregnancy announcements were flying, and although we weren’t trying and I was SO HAPPY for my friends, family, and Insta friends, those announcements stung.
Fast forward, two months into trying I was in disbelief as I stared at a positive pregnancy test. I was terrified – this was too easy for us, surely something would go wrong. The weeks crept by and we started to tell our close friends and family who were just beyond thrilled for us. Two appointments later with genetic testing done and the doctor still had nothing but great news for us. It was time to branch out and really start telling people. Which BTW to me is the worst part of being pregnant. Let me explain why.
I already explained above that fertility issues run in my family. Therefore, I dreaded telling certain people that I was pregnant and just how quickly it happened. I almost felt guilty. This is an area I am overly sensitive to because I have seen the hurt in people I love who have walked through the journey of infertility. While I am overjoyed to be pregnant, I want to be sensitive to people’s feelings.
Also during the slow weeks of the first trimester, I had two people that I am incredibly close to, have a miscarriage. We were all supposed to be due within a few weeks of each other. It broke my heart and I grieved for days for them. 12 weeks passed and it just felt too soon to announce. I knew people who were grieving and it didn’t feel right to share my exciting news on Facebook and Instagram. (I would like to point out that absolutely everyone has been incredibly happy for Hunter and me. We have never felt more loved or supported than we do now.)
We finally did share our news and it was wonderful to have our secret be out in the open. But still, I have shied away from weekly bump pics, nursey talk, and registry ideas. However, I am finally in a place where I am ready to be open and fully share my joy. I hope that you are looking forward to me sharing this journey with you.
To all the women who are reading this and struggle with infertility or have miscarried, just know that I am thinking about you and that you are being prayed for. I know that doesn’t help but my heart is there.
On July 4th, I will be 35 weeks and I cannot believe that I am already this far along! Hunter and I are beyond excited to meet our little one and we just found out that may be sooner than we thought! Our original due date is August 8th, however, two weeks ago we found out that he is growth restricted and falls into the 3% category for weight. This means that most likely I will deliver early and we are hoping to make it to 37 weeks. Oh and the little guy is also breech. The good news is that he is super strong and healthy! He is moving a ton and practicing his breathing. I am going in twice a week for monitoring and everything is looking great. We would appreciate your prayers though!
Nothing will make you want to change everything more than being pregnant. Every housing project that I have ever wanted to complete now has a timeline. Those ugly lights in the hallway? GONE! That room that I have always wanted to paint? DONE! Slowly, but surely our house has become more of the home I always envisioned it being. I even have been purging my closet and buying unique and special clothing that truly feels a bit more like “me.”
Even the blog has some amazing updates! Have you noticed my beautiful new logo?? I couldn’t have done it without Ellen Davis and her truly unique talent for design, Together we created the perfect logo for the direction that I want to take my blog. One that reflects motherhood, a day that happens mostly in my home and of course the continuation of daily looks, beauty finds, and home styling. Let’s do life together.
All My Love,